today i called the girl that i was dating to tell her that i didn't mean all of the mean things i have said recently. when you break up with someone you tend to say and do mean things... even though you don't really mean them. i apologized and moved on. today is the first day in 3 weeks i haven't felt like complete and utter garbage.
first thing i did when i got home? i got a hold of my ex the one from way back when (3 years ago if you care) and i told her that i forgave her for what happened and that i was sorry for being mean or hateful towards her.
i just realized that i'm spending too much energy holding all of this in... keeping these grudges in is not healthy. i just need to let it go. move on with my life and worry about me being happy. no one else can make me happy. it is up to me and only me. first step getting rid of this negative energy i have been caring around with me for too long.
i'm not there yet.. but i'm working on it.
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